Learn about caregiver turned Alzheimer’s Orange County staff member, Ben Allen and how he went from using our services to becoming an advocate for them.
The following is a transcript of the video.
Hi, I’m Ben Allen and I’m part of Alzheimer’s, Orange County and the Memory Support Services team, and I have the privilege of talking about Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia and caregiving, which is my background, having been a family caregiver for about 12 years. My wife Judy, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2009. She had a long, slow progression and decline and ultimately passed away from her Alzheimer’s in 2022.
Beginning the Journey
We got involved with Alzheimer’s OC initially through support groups and so part of what I want to emphasize is the value of support groups. I remember the day we got Judy’s diagnosis and the social worker was giving us the results of all the tests that they had done. And that their diagnosis was probable Alzheimer’s and we had no idea at that point all of that would entail, but I remember her saying that—she hands us a piece of paper, she says “here, call this phone number and get into a support group” and that was the beginning. and we looked at each other and said OK, not knowing what that would mean. But ultimately it meant a lot for both of us. So many times as we dealt with the symptoms of the disease and the frustration that she felt when there were times where her frustration was just going off the chart. And for me, I just so often felt so helpless, not knowing what to do. So being in a support group, talking with others, listening to other people’s story and gaining from their experience, their wisdom was just such a support so I’m really grateful to Alzheimer’s OC for having support groups and for all of the supporters who donate to Alzheimer’s OC to allow us to offer these service; support groups, the helpline, family consultations that we took advantage of. There were so many times I remember just being, you know, at the end of my rope where I didn’t know what to do and I was so frustrated and overwhelmed and discouraged.
Starting a New Chapter
Along the way, even as Judy was in her last days, her progression had become quite advanced I just had an amazing blessing on a Sunday morning in church. I happened to meet a woman who was dealing with the same issues. In her case with her mother. And Suzanne, my friend, we supported each other through caregiving, through Judy’s last days, through her mother’s last days and we’ve just been really, really blessed and we were married nine months ago, nine months ago yesterday. And so we’re thankful for all of the support that we’ve received from many friends, from family and especially from Alzheimer’s Orange County. So, for all of you who support such great work, thank you.
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